To medicate or not? One Experience of ADHD Medication

It’s something that many families wrestle with, the idea of medicating ADHD or not. There are all sort of arguments for and against, and different types of medication to try. There are natural supplements that some people swear by, and abstaining from certain foods or chemicals, like food dyes, that others claim reduce the symptoms.

I’m not going to talk about any of that.

I want to talk to you about the experience, my family’s experience. I’m not going to tell you that medication will help you, or your family, or even that it’s something you should try. I don’t believe that any outsider should try to sway your decision, because it is completely up to you to follow your beliefs, values, and what works for your family.

I also would be doing a disservice if I didn’t share what I have seen medication do for my family.

Personally, I was against medication. I had heard the rhetoric that kids are being overmedicated and that ADHD was being over-diagnosed. I had heard about the kids who become zombies on medication, who trade their joy for blind obedience. I received a message, intentional or not, that “good parents don’t medicate their kid.”

This was not a helpful message. There are all sorts of medications that save the lives of many children, and there are more medications that improve the lives of children.

My son was 7 when we started ADHD medication. Despite my initial reservations, he needed to function at school, and was about to head into grade 2. His kindergarten teacher was basically a unicorn, able to manage a full kindergarten class with multiple kids with diagnosed, and undiagnosed, disabilities, carrying one on her hip while another clung to her leg as she walked through her classroom encouraging the kids to clean up and get ready for the end of the day. His grade one teacher was also fabulous, but she was less experienced and my son’s support needs became evident quickly. He didn’t seem to be learning much at school, and his lagging skills were becoming a concern as he fell further behind his classmates.

Our pediatrician was the one who suggested medication. She had seen my son for a few years, and during that summer visit she hesitantly brought up the idea that he may have ADHD. I have to tell you, I was so relieved I almost cried. He was my only child, and he seemed to be much busier than the other kids, but I couldn’t help but wonder if my parenting was the cause. Sure, I’m a child therapist now, but back then my work was different, and I had never parented before. I was doing what I thought was right, and I was reading the parenting books, but the strategies others suggested just never seemed to work for him, or perhaps they didn’t work for me. So when the doctor suggested there may be a reason for it, I was incredibly relieved, and agreed to follow her advice.

She suggested trying a low dosage ADHD medication, a stimulant, that she had found success with. I was worried about medicating my child. Trying medication made me feel ashamed, like I was somehow missing the skills, or patience, I needed to help my son. I didn’t know if it was the right thing to do, but I also didn’t know how else to help him. I took the prescription and got it filled that day.

We were on a family holiday when we started medication. My husband and I were nervous about trying it, not sure what to expect, and wondered if being on vacation was the right time to try out something new. We rationalized that having both of us available to see how things went was better than starting it when he had to be at school or daycare, so we decided to go for it.

That day we were out at a park with a playground, a petting zoo, and lots of room to run around. My son and husband were hanging out with the goats, and I was getting bored, or more likely, just needed some time alone, so I wandered over to an enclosure that was filled with small birds in many colours. I watched them flit about for a bit, then went back to the goats to see what was taking so long. It was fun watching my son and husband laugh together, relaxed and on holiday. Finally they came over to me, and we went to see the birds.

I remember Dave picking up our son, and pointing out a couple of the birds. He likes birds a lot more than I do. Our son watched, then asked some questions, then pointed out other birds.

I felt like time froze for a moment. I looked at them, the two most important people in my life, as they watched the birds together. My son continued to watch, to comment, to engage. This had never happened before.

Never.

He had never spent this much time observing, noticing, wondering. He had never spent this much time in his dad’s arms. He had never stayed still for this long.

It suddenly hit me that the medication was allowing this. My son had never been able to focus long enough to notice what the birds were doing. He had never been able to relax and connect with his dad in this way. Sure, when he was tired he was happy to lie on dad and watch a show, a short show. But to stop in the middle of the day and watch birds? Never.

It turned out that for us, both our family and our son, medication was a huge support to help manage his ADHD. It wasn’t the only support we used, and it never eliminated the symptoms entirely. We also tried dropping certain foods, ingredients, and using vitamin supplements. We included a lot of activity in our lives, and we ate fairly balanced meals most days. Over the years, as he grew and changed, we needed to change the medication many times to find the right balance for him. He tried stimulants and non-stimulants. There are many different types of ADHD medication, and each person reacts differently.

Now that my son is almost an adult, he makes his own choice around medication. He has found it helpful, and on the occasional day where he forgets to take it, he notices the effect it has on his day, on his life. Does that mean he is reliant on medication? Maybe, but if he needed glasses would anyone be telling him he shouldn’t rely on them?

That’s my story, our story. Not every child with ADHD needs medication. Not every child who tries medication finds it helpful. It can take a lot of med changes to find the right one, or the right combination.

Please don’t consider this story to be advice. It is simply one experience, one viewpoint. There are many others, so if you are considering ADHD medication consult a medical professional and consider your own beliefs and values.